Every Story Has a Moral

I received this email yesterday from my friend Bev in Rhode Island. She usually doesn't send jokes, so I knew it had to be really good. It is. True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." The moral of this story is...

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

In My Pocket

I have memories in my pocket.They rattle among the change. My memories of you are treasures I carry wherever I go. They are stored in bits and pieces, parts of a beautiful whole. They give me comfort when I think I am alone. Yes, I have memories in my pocket, like so much other stuff I keep there. But of all the treasures I have, it’s the memories of you that are the most precious.

4th of July Party Detail

Usually, what happens at our parties, stays at our parties. But I do have a short little story to tell, just because it was so damned funny! I don't know what time it was, but it was pretty dark out. Big D and a few others were in the hot tub, and Big D says, "Watch this...it's my James Bond move." The next thing everyone heard was a very loud "THUNK!" Jeff said, "Was that Caveman?!" I ran over to see what had happened, and there's Big D, sitting on the cover of the hot tub, which is on the ground. WTF?! Of all the times I didn't have my camera at hand! He looked like a little kid wondering what the hell gravity was!!!!! LMFAO!!! Once I realized there were no injuries, I couldn't stop laughing. I think Sarah and I laughed for an hour. My stomach still hurts from laughing. James Bond move, indeed! I still don't know what he was trying to do, but I doubt he accomplished it! Hope you all had a happy 4th!

How To Tell The Sex of a Bird

Until now I never fully understood how to tell the difference between male and female birds. I always thought it had to be determined surgically. Until now. Below are two birds. Study them closely...see if you can spot which of the two is the female. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching skills..

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Happy Independence Day

Today is our nation's 233rd birthday. In honor of this birthday, we will be celebrating our independence! I hope you will be, too. During your celebrations this weekend, please do not forget the reason you are celebrating. It's not just another day off from work, people! Here are a few images to remind you...

My Luck Keeps On Keepin' On

Since I won the grand prize at the Rumble on Rt 66, and the stuffed HD piggy, and the carriage ride, it seems my luck has been on a roll! I won an iPod Shuffle at work this week for being runner-up in a contest to name our new company intranet. That was pretty cool! Then yesterday, I got a call from someone in our HR dept. Apparently the name I chose (that won me the Shuffle) is the name HR chose to go with for their new benefits website. So they will be giving me some sort of prize for that, too! How cool is that?! I guess I should shut up and go play the Powerball now, huh?

Technical Difficulties

I very much want to post Day 3 of our trip, but I am having some difficulties with the video I captured of part of the trip. Once I get that figured out, I will post. Sorry for the delay, but the video is definitely worth it. :)