Because You Are My Friend

This was contributed by my friend K (not to be confused with Kramer!). Thanks K! When you are sad........................ I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum- sucking bastard who made you sad. When you are scared.................. I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get. When you are worried................ I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining. When you are confused............. I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass. When you are sick........................ I will hold your hair while you pray homage to the porcelain God. When you fall....................... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath.................. I pledge till the end. Why you may ask?.................. Because you are my friend