The collection of any random thoughts that pop into my head, or the culmination of some damn thing that happened at the Nelson house, because you all know there is never a dull freaking moment in our lives!
Words to Live By
Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Poor Dumb Bob
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.'
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
Bob's funeral will be on Friday.
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13 comments:
ROTFLMFAO!!!
Love this one.
Thanks for the laugh!
I ain't even sending flowers, dumb bastard violated rule 1. Never take your wife, or let her take you, to your favorite tittie bar.
LOL...I have to go with Ariz Harley Dude on this one!
Ditto what Dean said... ROTFLMAO!!! This is so funny, I can't wait to go home and let Harley read it.
Poor bastard!
BTW... not every wife has problems with Tittie Bars! LOL!
Don't understand why she got so upset, if she took him to a strip club in the first place! I know my wife would not be happy either, then again, she'd never take me to a strip club. Poor dumb bastard.
If I can't take my wife to the favorite titty bar.
Does that mean Ann can't go into our backyard? :]
Ann, Ann, Ann. Thank you, thank you. I have not laughed that frick'in hard in a long time. That just struck me in the funny bone so hard I think you broke it!
Stop rubbing it in will ya for crissakes??
That was a good one! LMAO! Thanks for cheering me up on the very trying of days!
What time on Friday? I’m going. I’ve got a feeling his wife won’t be to busy.
Yea he screwed up.
LMAO!!!!!!!!
That is absolutely hilarious!!!!
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