Words to Live By

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Brake-Light Charlie

A few weeks ago, while driving between two bars, we got stuck behind a Brake-Light Charlie. I absolutely HATE being stuck behind these drivers! Don't know what a Brake-Light Charlie is?

A Brake-Light Charlie is the person who is always tap-tap-tapping the brakes - for no good reason. There is no dog in the road, there is no vehicle in front of him for at least a 1/2 mile, and yet he continues to tap that brake. He's not turning anywhere, he's not lost, he's not looking for a turnoff because there isn't one! He just likes to tap on his brakes. This makes it very difficult to drive behind him, as you don't know when he's really going to use his brakes to stop! It drives me nuts!

When you get stuck behind a BLC, there are a few things you can do:

1. Pass them, if possible.
2. Deal with it and hope he turns soon.
3. If you can't pass them, and you can't deal with it, turn in to a parking lot and let them get WAY ahead of you.

If you don't like any of those options, you can always get your crossbow out of the back seat and...Well, maybe that's not really an option!

I think the only thing worse than being stuck behind a BLC is having someone tailgate! That will be my next pet peeve blog. I even have a special sticker on my back window for tailgaters! :o)

Have a nice weekend, everyone!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

It Has Been A Less-Than-Great Week

And it's only Wednesday! I'm exremely busy at work, and getting lots and lots of hate e-mail. That alone could make for a bad week. Add to that my frustration with certain people and their whining...I. Hate. Whiners! Back on the east coast front: My Mom had to visit her cardiologist this week, and she has fluid around her heart, so that stresses me out, as well. We'll find out next week if she has to be hospitalized for any amount of time. Then I've got a bunch of people telling me all these you-can't-tell-a-living-soul-or-I'll-kill-you secrets! WTF? If I can't tell another living soul, then why are you telling me? I'm very good at keeping secrets, but with a bunch of them to keep track of, I have got to just keep my mouth shut! I hope all of you are having a better week than I am!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Official Announcement

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed! Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Government Health Warning

Do not swallow your chewing gum - see what happens?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Which Sports Car Are You?

My sister Gayle sent me the link to this quiz. She's an Audi TT. I'd just like to say that I've always been the more racy sister! :o)

I'm a Lotus Elise!

You believe in maximum performance and minimum baggage. You like to travel light and fast, hit the corners hard, and dance like there's no tomorrow.

"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Funny Email

I got a funny email about men this morning. You know it was pretty typical stuff, but what was not typical was that it came from my Mom. I was a little put off by this so I replied to her with the following message: Funny. Though it's a little unnerving receiving an email from my mother with the following line in it: Men are like Snowstorms .You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. Her reply: Just skim over that part. LMAO!!!

How The Fight Started...

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car. . . and you know how you just get sooo stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?" . . . and that's when the fight started . . .

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Buyer Beware: Nationwide Vision - Updated

I took Vicki for her annual eye exam yesterday afternoon. We went to Nationwide Vision, and now I'm not sure why. Convenience isn't always so. They were very busy to begin with, and gave me a song and dance about being short a few people. (I don't really care why you're this busy, just don't make me wait too long!) So we waited a fair amount of time, and they did the preliminary exam with a tech. No issue there. Then we waited some more time, and the Dr. examined her. Let me just say that the Dr. was GREAT. He was wonderful with Vicki and a very sweet man. Now comes the fun: picking out frames. Have you ever picked out eyeglass frames with a 9-year-old girl? I don't recommend it unless you have Valium with you. Anyway, she finally decided on the frames she hated the least, and we were asked to wait (yet, again) at a station. Finally, a rude woman came over and started measuring Vicki for her glasses. She then proceeds to tell me that polycarbonate lenses are not covered. Hmmm, I say, I think you're mistaken. She checked, and said they were definitely not covered. Well, with Big D out of work, we don't get extras. So I told her the plastic would be good, all the while knowing that polycarbonate lenses are covered by my plan. So, no scratch coating, no special anything. Then she informs me that I really should get the polycarbonate lenses for Vicki, because if anything happened and something hit the plastic lenses they could shatter and injure her eyes. (Guilt trip, anyone?) I assured her that I thought it would be ok for now. At this juncture, I have reached my boiling point. Keep that in mind. Now the woman hands me a form and asks me to sign it. Here's how it went: Woman: Sign this form. Me: What am I signing? Woman: A form stating that you refused polycarbonate lenses when the doctor recommended them. Me: I'm not signing this form. Woman: (asking another associate what to do if I won't sign the form) If you don't sign it, we can't fill the order. Me: Okay. (I signed with an 'X'. Yes, I was bitchy at this point.) She didn't even look at the form. Her loss. So I was really not happy with the service and all the way home it bugged me about the coverage. I called when I got home and they were already closed. So I left a message asking them to hold on to the order for her glasses until I reached my insurance provider to confirm coverage. I didn't want to use up her once-a-year benefit for glasses on the crap they had me order. (No, I didn't exactly word it like that, but close.) Poor Big D said I came into the house like a whirlwind last night, and he didn't know why, but he stayed out of the way until I got off the phone. He's so intuitive! Fast forward to this morning. Superior Vision has assured me, and sent me confirmation that polycarbonate lenses, scratch coating, and UV coating are all FULLY COVERED. So, I call Nationwide, and after waiting on hold for 10 minutes (I'm seeing a trend, here) they tell me that they need to call Superior and will call me back. That's as far as the story goes for now. But I promise to update with the outcome. I just wanted to warn all of you to stay away from Nationwide Vision. Especially the one in Peoria, AZ. But, more importantly, all of them, because I have heard some horror stories about them today. Why couldn't I have heard them yesterday? Update: I just heard back from Nationwide Vision. They called Superior, and it turns out I was right, "and we're so sorry for the inconvenience, we had a lot of people here yesterday that don't normally work at this location." So, I guess that means that 'this' location is good, but the other ones all suck. I didn't say this, but wanted to. So, in the end, Vicki is getting glasses with polycarbonate lenses, scratch coating, UV coating, and transitions; all at no cost to me. Now that she has to wear her specs all the time, I figured the transitions lenses would be great. She's going to be surprised! :o)

Friday, February 15, 2008

Nationwide Ad

Last night, we were watching Lost, and a Nationwide Auto Insurance ad comes on. It goes like this: A guy is looking out the office window at co-worker's new car (nice red sporty-looking car), and there is a window washer up on his rig on the building across the street (directly over said car). Something happens and the window washer's rig falls to one side, and his bucket of bright yellow paint falls onto the roof of the car, making a total mess of it. WTF??? Why does a window washer, who is cleaning windows on a steel and glass building have a bucket of bright yellow paint up there with him?? He could not have been painting anything...it was a steel and glass structure...there was absolutely NO bright yellow anywhere! Could this be the new age of tagging? Are gang members getting jobs in the city as window washers to tag those huge buildings? Wait a minute, are gang members actually getting jobs?! Or is this what happens when our children's art programs are cut due to lack of funding? Little Johnny doesn't have an outlet for his artistic side anymore, so while he was washing the windows, he had an idea... Seriously, the ad was terrible. Yellow paint? There's another one where someone's throwing furniture out the apartment window onto a car, and that's a bit more believable, except for the fact that the woman probably weighs about 95 lbs and she's throwing large pieces of furniture out her window. Way to go, Nationwide...time for a new ad campaign.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

I was planning to boycott this Hallmark holiday for many reasons, none of which are important now. My dear husband has changed all that.

After waking up to a decidedly rude alarm clock this morning, I went through my morning routine of somehow getting to the kitchen and making a cup of freshly brewed coffee. (I LOVE the auto-timer on my coffee-maker). On my way into the kitchen, I noticed something out of place on the table, but didn't stop to check it out; I needed that kick of caffeine before I did anything. Once I had some of that wonderful elixr down my throat, I woke up enough to realize that there was something pink on the table. I went over for a closer look.

At this point, I was still not awake and alert enough to realize it was Valentine's Day. There was something wrapped in clear cellophane with red and white hearts on it, the pink thing was a card, and there was a red, heart-shaped box, with Vicki's name on it. The card had my name on it, so I opened it. My husband picks out the best cards...that's all I'll say about the card. The cellophane-wrapped item turned out to be a chocolate amaretto cake. Mmmmmm. That will be served for dessert tonight.

It's now 5:30 a.m., and time to wake the husband. I went into our room, and I turned on our bathroom light. (I do this so I don't blind him by turning on a light in our room.) Something in the bathroom mirror caught my eye...Big D had bought this window-cling-type things and stuck them to the mirror in our bathroom! Then, on a hunch, I checked the hallway bathroom, a.k.a. Vicki's bathroom, and lo and behold: her mirror is decorated, too! So I woke D, and thanked him for the nice gifts, etc.

We're sitting down in the family room, drinking coffee, and it occurs to me that he must have spent a lot of time doing this stuff after I went to bed last night. So, I have dubbed him "The Super-Stealth Midnight Decorator"! He's a real man!

And as a side note: He beat me to it, again! Every year, I try to get his gift to him before he gives me mine, but as he's not working this year, he had the advantage of being able to stay up late to beat me to the punch!

Happy Birthday, Arizona!

Hope the next 96 years brings more progress, less traffic!

Yes, on February 14, 1912, Arizona became the 48th state. Happy birthday!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Russia Up To It's Old Tricks?

Today's required reading can be found here. You'll want to read it, trust me.

OK, did you read it? In the first paragraph where it states that a Russian bomber buzzed an American aircraft carrier, I became puzzled. My oldest son was stationed on the USS George Washington for 6 years, and has told me several times that nobody can get within 400 miles of our carrier groups without us knowing about it, at which time the commander would scramble a couple of F/A-18 fighter planes. I was a bit relieved as I read on, finding out that's exactly what they did, but WTF?

Why are Russian bombers buzzing our carrier groups? This is extremely alarming news. "Russia revived the Soviet-era practice of long-range patrols by strategic bombers over the Atlantic, Pacific and Arctic oceans last August." This is also alarming news.

It seems to me that we had better turn our plans to put a radar system in the Czech Republic and 10 missile defense interceptors in Poland a reality! I wonder if any of the current Presidential hopefuls are up to the task? Let's hope so! (No, this was not a stab at any of the candidates!)

And I love this line regarding Russian bombers crossing into Japanese airspace for three minutes: "Russia has denied there was an intrusion." Well, then, that must make it so! This is a picture of the USS Nimitz with two F/A-18 Hornets flying over during an airborne change of command ceremony in 2007. God bless ALL our Sailors and Soldiers!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Attention Kmart Shoppers!

Today's post is a public service announcement to all Kmart shoppers. I bought Vicki a bicycle for Christmas at Kmart. I also bought the replacement plan for $7.99. Last week, one of the pedals broke. She's been riding it without the plastic part of the pedal, so basically it's just a metal spike. This has caused some bruising. I called the number on the replacement plan on Saturday. Once I got through the numbers game (i.e., press 1 for English), I spoke to the most sincere customer service rep. that I have ever spoken with. After we established who I was, what I bought, and what the issue was, the conversation went like this: Me: So, is this covered? CSR: Yes, pedals are definitely covered. I'm going to send you a return label via email, and you can send a copy of the receipt and a copy of the replacement plan, and a note stating that it is not feasible to send the bike as it is too large. Then we will send you a gift card for the price of the bike plus sales tax. Me: Where do I return the bike? CSR: You don't. Me: Really? So, I keep the bike with the broken pedal, and you send me a gift card for a replacement bike? And that's it? CSR: That's it. Me: Really??! CSR: (laughing) Really! My guess is that they get the same reaction from others, because she was laughing at me. She said they don't deal with parts, and it's easier to just replace the whole bike. I just thought this was great! So the lesson here is, if you're making a purchase at Kmart, buy the replacement plan! It's worth it!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Birthday Shout-Out!!!

Happy Birthday to my niece and God-daughter, Amanda. She turns 17 today! Amanda is a very smart and beautiful girl. She plays basketball, and she's really good at it. She also plays the violin, and she's in all those advanced classes in school. She's a junior in high school, and is starting to look at colleges. I'm sure she will get accepted into the college of her choice. Amanda, I hope you have a wonderful birthday! I wish I could be there to celebrate it with you!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

The Best Picture!

Last month, my sister told me that the picture of Dad on my ALS walk site was horrible. I agree, it wasn't his best, but I didn't really have any good ones of him. So I worked with what I had. (Everybody's a critic!) So, my dear sister began her mission of finding a better picture for that site.

She sent me the picture yesterday, but it was compressed with some strange compression software and I couldn't open it. Today, she sent it to me in .jpg format (thanks, Chris!) and I now have the best picture! It's Dad and my brother-in-law, Ed, sitting on a bench somewhere in Florida. It's the best picture for a couple of reasons. First, my Dad loved being in Florida and he looks so relaxed in this picture...it's totally representative of how he was while he was there. Second, I absolutely LOVE that they are sitting almost as if they posed (which I am positive they did not!). Third, I don't have many pictures of my brother-in-law, and this is a great picture of him! Finally, I think this is one of the last pictures taken of Dad before he lost all the weight and was diagnosed.
Thanks for the picture, Chris! I promise I will post it on my ALS walk page for next year's walk!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Quick-Picks: Something For Everyone

  • From the "Where Are They Now" Department: Dick Van Patten's new gig. I guess Paul Newman had the Salad Dressing market covered, so really, I think this was the natural choice, don't you?
  • From the "Neat New Products" Department: Stealth Switch. I wonder how many of you are ordering this right now?
  • From the "Sad News" Department: Nurse Amy Vining from General Hospital has passed away at the age of 49.
  • From the "Happy and Sad" Department: A Gilbert, AZ woman won $297K on Deal or No Deal. Happy because she won a lot of money; sad because there were 10 - $10M cases!

OK. That's it for today! Enjoy the rest of the day, everyone!

Global Warming???

So, last night on my way home from work, I took the following picture. It's hard to see, but that's actually sleet on the hood of my car. Yes, sleet. When I got home, however, the weatherman called it, "soft hail". WTF? This was no hail, my friends. This was almost snow, but too wet to be snow, which is identified as SLEET! In Phoenix, Arizona. This makes me very unhappy.

Fast forward to 7:30 this morning, and here are two pictures of my car. The first is the ice that had formed on the roof of the car. The second is the ice, and the little mean face I made on my windshield. I actually had to whip out a credit card to scrape the ice off of my windshield this morning. In Phoenix, Arizona. This also makes me very unhappy.

Let's back up a moment, because I don't want this to be a totally unhappy and negative post. Here is a picture of a beautiful double rainbow yesterday afternoon when I got home from work. It really was striking. This made me somewhat happy. But then it rained again.

So, my issue (for today) is this: I think Global Warming is total B.S. I would like to invite Al Gore to check out the recent weather patterns in normally-sunny-and-dry Phoenix, Arizona. The "Incovenient Truth" is: we have had more rain, snow (up north), cold weather, and freeze warnings this winter than any other winter in the last 8 years. Probably longer than that, but that's all I can speak for. I came here 8 years ago because I wanted to live in The Valley of the Sun. That's where I live, but you can't tell by the weather we're having this year! I did not move here for weather! I could have stayed in Massachusetts for weather!
Some interesting reading can be found here: Nine Lies About Global Warming.

Monday, February 4, 2008

It's Working - Kind Of...

Today's required reading can be found here. It's on AZCentral.com, so I hope you don't have to answer a survey to get to it. Sorry if you do. OK...did you read it? Can you believe it? I wonder if the states of AZ and OK intended for their illegals to hike over to TX? Probably not so much. It would be nice if they got the hint and applied for citizenship legally! Hello???? Best quote of the story: "Here, they let you work. (referring to TX) Over there, they won't. There is a lot of racism, but here there isn't - it's better," Ortiz said of Houston. My response: "Yeah, not so much racism...we don't mind if you're from Jordan, Afghanistan, Iraq, Mexico, or any other country...just come here LEGALLY!" Is that hard to understand, Mr. Oritz? Maybe a little ESL will help you out...Oh, wait, that's right: you want US to learn YOUR language while YOU are living in OUR country ILLEGALLY! What was I thinking?

Friday, February 1, 2008

Thought For The Day

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away. Go Pats!!! :o)