Friday, August 31, 2007
- Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
- Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
- Practice making fax and modem noises
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up
- Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears
- Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting
- Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
- Staple papers in the middle of the page
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise
- Honk and wave to strangers
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register
- TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE
- type only in lowercase
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat
- Ask people what gender they are
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
- Sing along at the opera.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
- I am TIRED of drinking water for lunch when you steal my SlimFast
- I get VERY CRANKY when I'm hungry
- If you're a fattie (like I was), buy your own f'ing SlimFast!!!
- If you cannot afford your own, WHY do you think I can afford to buy it for TWO???
Now for the facts:
- I have lost 20 lbs
- I wish to continue to lose weight
- Because of your actions, some poor soul who just happens to be drinking a SlimFast will be attacked on sight by a very hungry ME!
This is your warning to cease and desist immediately! I am contacting Field Services to install a web cam trained on that fridge. I will find you if you continue.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
- The sound could have been better - there was an echo during the first two bands.
- $9.25 for a beer! Hello? It's beer! At least I didn't pay $10 for a *sip* of vodka. Yes a sip. They called it a shot, but not so much!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Friday, August 10, 2007
- It was so quiet in there you could have heard a pin drop! (It used to be packed and noisy all the time)
- There were 3 other tables taken, and the rest of the place was empty
- The waiter (I think?) was chasing people to their tables asking them what they wanted to drink before they were seated! (They actually asked Big D while he was at the buffet!)
- The food quality REALLY left something to be desired
- There was NO SUSHI!!!! WTF???
- It looked pretty run-down
Now I'm not sure if there's new management in place, or if there needs to be, but I was sorely disappointed with our visit. The whole experience was terrible!
So, does anyone know a *Good* Chinese restaurant in the Phoenix valley area? I prefer the west side, but hey, I've traveled to Boston for good sea food, so I can drive to the east side if I must!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
You're 22 now, and so mature. You've stopped walking into things and getting random injuries (thank God!). Your wife Toshia is a beautiful woman, who loves you very much.
We love you and we're proud as hell to be your parents! We hope you have a wonderful birthday! This day is all about you, Eric, so enjoy it to the fullest!