101 Ways You Know You're a Proud Bostonian

Well, I got this email today, and I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. It brought back some great memories of home, and I thought I would share them with you. My personal favorites are in bold and italicized. I hope you enjoy! 1 The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the greatest moments in your life. 2 The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you're swearing at him for going too slow. 3 When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke. 4 You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid. 5 You actually enjoy driving around rotaries. 6 You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language - eva! 7 Your social security number starts with a 0. 8 You can actually find your way around Boston. 9 You know what a "regular" coffee is. 10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round. 11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent. 12. Springfield is located "way out west." 13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space. 14. You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Gloucester, and Haverhill. 15. Anyone you don't know is a potential idiot until proven otherwise. 16. Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts or CVS within eyeshot at all times. 17. You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday just to buy alcohol. 18. You know how to pronounce Yastrzemski. 19. You know there's a trophy at the end of the Bean Pot. 20. You order iced coffee in January. 21. You know that the Purple Line will take you anywhere. 22. You love scorpion bowls. 23. You know what they sell at a Packie. 24. Sorry Manny, but number 24 means DEWEY EVANS. 25. You know what First Night is. 26. You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Sully, Red, Bud or Seamus. 27. McLobster? McCrap! 28. You know at least 2 cops in your town because they were your high school drinking buddies. 29. Sure there are 6 New England states, but Connecticut really doesn't count. 30. You inten tionally give wrong directions to tourists, feel bad when they drive off, but then say to yourself, "Ah, screw 'em." 31. You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call. 32. You're sick of the Kennedy's, but you vote for them anyway. 33. You know holding onto the railing when riding the Green Line is not optional. 34. The numbers '78 and '86 make you cringe. 35. You've been to Goodtimes before. 36. You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day. (...and they DO). 37. You have never been to "Cheers." 38. The words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together. 39. You've been to Fenway Park several times. 40. You've gone to at least one party at U Mass. 41. You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat. 42. You know what a Frappe is. 43. You've been to Hempfest. 44. You know who Frank Averuch is. 45. ADVANCED: You know who Bozo the Clown was. 46. You can complete the following: "Lynn, Lynn..." 47. You get pissed off when a restaurant serves clam chowder, and it turns out to be friggin' Snows. 48. You actually know how to merge from six lanes of traffic down to one. 49. The TV weatherman is damn good if he's right 25% of the time. 50. You never go to "Cape Cod," you go "down the Cape". 51. You think that Roger Clemens and Johnny Damon are more evil than Whitey Bulger. 52. You know who Whitey Bulger is. 53. You went to the Swan Boats, House of Seven Gables, or Plymouth Plantation on a field trip in elementary school. 54. Bobby Orr is loved as much as Larry Bird, Tom Brady, and Ted Williams. 55. You remember Major Mudd. 56. You know what candlepin bowling is. 57. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day 58. You know Scollay Square once stood where Government Center is. 59. When you were a kid, Rex Trailer was the coolest guy around. Speaking of which... 60. You can still hum the song from the end of Boom Town. 61. Calling Carrabba's an "Italian" restaurant is sacrilege. 62. You still have your old Flexible Flyer somewhere in your parents' attic. 63. You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line. 64. The only time you've been on the Freedom Trail is when relatives are in town. 65. The Big Dig tunnel disaster wasn't really that much of a surprise. 66. You call guys you've just met "Chief" or "Boss." 67. 4:15pm and pitch black out means there's just 3 more shopping days until Christmas. 68. You know more than one person with the last name Murphy. 69. You refer to Savin Hill as "Stab 'n Kill." 70. You've never eaten at Durgin Park, but recommend it to tourists. 71. You can't look at the zip code 02134 without singing it. 72. You voted for a Republican Mormon as Governor just to screw with the rest of the country. 73. 11pm? Drunk? It means one thing: Kowloon! 74. 2 am? Drunk? It means one thing: Kelly's Roast Beef! 75. 5am? Drunk? It means one thing: You wish you had a blanket in your back seat. 76. You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group. 77. People you don't like are all "Bastids." 78. You took school or work off for the Patriots first Super Bowl Victory Parade. 79. You've called something "wicked pissa." 80. You'll always get razzed for Dukakis. 81. Saturday afternoons meant Creature Double Feature with Dale Dorman. 82. Sunday mornings mean t the Three Stooges on Channel 38. 83. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater. 84. No, you don't trust the Gorton's Fisherman. 85. You know that Papa Gino's usually has a jukebox. 86. You think Aerosmith is the greatest rock band of all time. 87. Your town has at least 6 sub shops, and none of them are a Subway. 88. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frankie. 89. 20 degrees isn't that bad as long as there's no wind. 90. You were very sad when saying goodbye to the Boston Garden. 91. Thanksgiving means family, turkey, High School football, and the long version of Alice's Restaurant. 92. You know the guy who founded the Boston Pops was Athah Feedlah. 93. You know what the Combat Zone is. 94. You actually drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax. 95. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming >traffic so you can make a left. 96. You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop. 97. You've been to Hampton Beach on a Saturday night. 98. Playing street hockey was a daily after school ritual. 99. Hearing an old lady shout "Numbah 96 for Sioux City!" means it's time for steak. 100. You remember Jordan Marsh, Kresgees, Woolworth, Grants, Bradlees, Caldor, Zayres, or Ann & Hope. 101. You actually get these jokes!

Memorial Day Shout-Out!

Just a shout-out to all our veterans! Those currently with us, and those departed. We should all remember that you fought for our freedom, and you did it with honor. Thank you!

Funniest Damned Dream Ever!!!

One of our friends, who I will call 'Dreamer' to protect the innocent, told us about a very funny dream he had some years ago. It went like this: "We used to have a waterbed with shelves on the headboard. We had just put a phone on that shelf so we didn't have to run downstairs to get the phone in the middle of the night. One night the phone started to ring as I was dreaming. The ringing of the phone fit perfectly into my dream. I was dreaming that I had this new kind of alarm clock and the alarm was ringing. The only way to shut off the alarm was to pick it up (like a phone) and growl into it. (At this point, 'Dreamer' gives us a demonstration.) I picked up the phone and grrrroooowwwled into it and hung up. A few minutes later, the phone woke me up and the person said, "Did I just call you a minute ago?" and I said, "Nope." Now, I need to make a few observations about this dream: 1. I can picture this happening to me, but the caller would be my mother, and she would either a: know my growl - so I couldn't say it wasn't me or b: think I was having wild monkey sex and answered the phone (I would not answer the phone!) 2. I wish I could reveal identities on my blog so everyone could understand how very funny it is that this came from 'Dreamer'! I usually don't recall my dreams, but I do sleepwalk a lot, which is how this subject came up. I was going through a rather difficult time and I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard what I thought was the telephone. I walked downstairs to the spare bedroom, and picked up the alarm clock like a telephone and started yelling, "Hello" into the alarm clock. Daryl woke up and came downstairs looking for me. He shut off the alarm clock (no growling was necessary, just the push of a button!) and put me back to bed.

Happy Birthday To You, K!

Today is Kathleen's birthday. She currently works in hell, though a different one than mine! K - we should get together and trade 'Toxic Boss' stories sometime! I hope you have a happy, happy day! And may the only pain in your life be champagne!

ALS Awareness Month

You probably don't know that May is ALS Awareness Month. I didn't. I would never have known if ALS hadn't affected my family so profoundly. For those of you who do not know: my Dad had ALS. He passed away in January of 2005 after being diagnosed in October of 2004. If you're taking the time to read this blog, please take a moment to visit http://www.alsa.org. Tell a friend about it. Get the word out. Find your local chapter and get involved. My father's doctor told him in 2004 that we are at least 25 years away from a cure. Maybe if we get the word out, and get people to recognize this horrible disease, it won't take 25 years.

Just a Quick Note

I wanted to update my blog readers...I have not been lazy about updating the blog, though it may seem that way. I have been very busy at work since my co-worker Jackie left the company. As suspected, all her work was given to me by my lovely toxic boss. So, in between trying to catch up with all the work here and looking for a new gig, my blog has suffered. I apologize, and I promise to make a better effort going forward. Even if it's just a 'Quickie'.

Happy Birthday V!!!

Today is my BFF V's birthday! I won't say how hold she is (not that she would care) but I have a birthday coming up and she has a blog, and I DO care! ;o) I hope your birthday is wonderful V! See you on Sunday!