And For the Weekend...

It's funny how some just won't comment on my non-PC posts. That's ok, though, here's some lighter fare. I won't be online all weekend, including tomorrow, as my BFF Donna is coming to visit! I'll post pics from our weekend adventures next week. For now, though, here is a list of a few of my favorite songs. I'd like to see how many of you can name the bands/groups/persons that sing them. Good luck!

1. Free Bird
2. Feel Like Makin' Love
3. Lay Down Sally
4. Toys in the Attic
5. Jailbreak
6. Give it to Me
7. Moondance
8. Domino
9. Midnight Rider
10. Good Times Bad Times
11. The Story in Your Eyes
12. Fade to Black

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Craigslist Update

Sorry to disappoint everyone, but the guy who wanted my wedding gown was a no-call/no-show. And just when I figured out how to get pics of him in it! Damn!

Craigslist

I posted an ad on Craigslist to sell my old wedding gown. I got a reply asking if I minded a guy trying it on. I replied, "No, I don't mind as long as you're serious." Why would I care? I need the space/money, and he obviously needs a wedding gown! Everybody's happy, right? We'll see how it goes. He is supposed to come over tonight. I can hardly wait to tell Big D! :o) I will try to update this post over the weekend to give you the end result!

Who'd a Thunk It?

One of my most favorite people (other than Jane - in the background) pictured with one of my very, very least favorite people...and their shirts are almost the same!!!

The Valley Metro Bus Book Photo Shoot

Back in November, I was invited by Valley Metro to a photo shoot for the 2008 Bus Book. While there, we basically either sat on a bus, or sat waiting for a bus. They brought in sandwich platters, which was nice, as the photo shoot was 4-7 p.m. They also gave everyone a $10 Starbuck's card for volunteering. (I used mine for hot chocolate, the only thing I can tolerate at Starbuck's.)

The end result: See for yourself. Can you find me in the pics? :o)

Personal Safety And The MP3 Player

Sound interesting? Today's required reading comes from the Arizona Republic. A leopard print taser, for your personal safety, and a holster which includes a 1GB MP3 player for your listening pleasure. Hmm...interesting. The only possible reason for this that I can think of is, people who are "rocking out" to their MP3 player are more susceptible to being attacked as they are usually not paying attention. So, enter the handy-dandy taser to deliver 50,000 volts of electricity from up to 15 feet away. But not in DC, MA, RI, NY, NJ, WI, MI & HI...they're not legal in those states! I wonder if the music industry is in on this holster idea. Maybe if you're caught downloading music illegally, you will be tased? Now that would be innovative!

Spam, Anyone?

I decided to empty my Spam folder in Gmail today. I only do this once every two or three weeks. First let me say, that I hate spam and have never opened a message in my spam folder.

I looked up Spam on Wikipedia, and to my surprise there are several definitions:

Spam (Monty Python), a Monty Python comedy sketch. The "Spam" in the sketch refers specifically to the meat. Most later uses of "spam" refer in one way or another to undesirable repetition, and this sketch is considered to be the most likely source of such uses of the term.

Spam (electronic), unsolicited or undesired bulk electronic messages. There are many types of electronic spam, including:

E-mail spam, unsolicited e-mail.
Mobile phone spam, unsolicited text messages.
Forum spam, posting advertisements or useless posts on a forum.
Spamdexing, manipulating a search engine to create the illusion of popularity for webpages.
Spam in blogs, posting random comments or promoting commercial services to blogs, wikis, guestbooks.
Newsgroup spam, advertisement and forgery on newsgroups.
Messaging spam ("SPIM"), use of instant messenger services for advertisement or even extortion.
Spam (computer game), to repeatedly use one weapon or tactic. This term is based on the technological meaning of undesired bulk electronic message.

Flyposting ("street spam"), illegal blanket advertising in public places.

Spam (song) can also refer to a song by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Unlike the other uses here, the song has no connection to either the earlier Monty Python sketch nor to the electronic uses of the term that came about afterwards. The song is a parody of Stand by R.E.M.

Who knew? I don't think I've ever heard the Weird Al song. And I think that's just too many uses of the word Spam. Street spam? Really? Who uses this???

According to the messages in my spam folder:

• My diet isn't working
• I'm not making enough money (this might be worth a look, no?)
• I have what it takes to be a mystery shopper
• I am in desperate need of Viagra (45 emails on this topic)
• I have won 6 new laptops, 2 iphones, 4 ipods, and some gift cards
• I need more credit
• I need a scholarship (though I'm not attending any classes)
• My healthcare rates are too high (I'm not arguing)
• I need to hook up with some Latin singles

Now, if you went by my spam folder, I'm a fat, poor, single, creditless man with ED and insurance rates that are too high. I am qualified to be a mystery shopper, and I'm in desperate need of a scholarship! WTF?!

I hate spam!

Wondering What The Weekend Will Bring

This weekend, Vicki is going up to Williams to play in the snow with my girlfriend and her kids. She is leaving today and coming back on Sunday. We got her some new snow boots last night, and she is very excited. Big D and I are also excited! :o) A weekend without a child at home is a rare jewel, indeed. I believe we're going out to dinner tonight, with our Olive Garden gift card from Sam and Rodrigo. Tomorrow, we're going to head out to the grand re-opening of Western Trails Ranch in Morristown. I'm so happy they decided ot re-open..this place is a lot of fun! I hope the weather holds, because we'll be on the bike. (and I will be wearing my hot new chaps!) Sunday will be dedicated to cleaning, doing laundry and preparing for Vicki's first day back to school after winter break. I will need the entire day for this. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Strange Laws

Here are some strange laws I found from various online sources. Some of them I know to be true. Most are absurd. All of them are funny. Virginia may be for lovers, but West Virginia is for meat lovers. Officials in the Mountain State have deemed it perfectly legal for anyone to scavenge road kill. The original Road Kill Cafe is in WV, I think. In Scituate, Rhode Island, it is illegal to drive with beer in your vehicle even if it is unopened. So, in other words, if you’re a beer delivery driver you’re screwed. In Topeka, Kansas, it is unlawful to transport dead poultry along Kansas Avenue. The lesson here: look elsewhere for a KFC. No need to get your Lexus Sport Luxury Sedan painted blaze orange. Hunting from cars in Connecticut is illegal, even during deer season. In Alaska it is illegal to look at a moose from the window of an airplane or any other flying vehicle. Those moose are so private! Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath once a year. It's scary that there needed to be a law stating this at one time! In San Salvador drunk drivers are punished by death before a firing squad. I think Sheriff Joe is trying to get this law passed in Maricopa County. Impotence is grounds for divorce in twenty-four states in the United States. Why not all 50? In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal. No charades games there, I'm guessing. In Virginia, the Code of 1930 has a statute which prohibits corrupt practices or bribery by any person other than political candidates. I'm pretty sure this statute was expanded to the whole country shortly thereafter. In Washington State, you can't carry a concealed weapon that is over 6 feet in length. I think the key word here is concealed. In Phoenix, Arizona, you can't walk through a hotel lobby with spurs on. Damn! In Massachusetts: It is illegal to give beer to hospital patients. Do martinis served in a large thermos count, I wonder?! At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. So if they're hungry they should hit a Subway before the memorial services? Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. My dad broke this one all the time! All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. WTF? Hunting on Sundays is prohibited. Then why bring the rifle to church??? Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. This law was actually repealed just a few years back. When I got my first tattoo, I had to go to Rhode Island to get it. Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder. As it should be!

Swimming in Cape Cod Bay on 1/1? Not So Much!

Here is today's reading. I know it's for a good cause, but honestly...that water can be cold in July! I cannot imagine how cold it is on January 1!! Hello?! Good for the Polar Bear Club...God bless them every one! I hope they had nice warm towels waiting for them!

If They Can Get Along...Anyone Can!

Meet Rascal and Kitty. When they first met 3 years ago, Kitty sliced Rascal's nose wide open. It was an ugly scene. It was open warfare in our house for at least a month!

Tonight, I fed Kitty, but apparently Rascal's food was better, so they shared his food! They sleep together on Rascal's bed, and if one isn't feeling well the other is always trying to comfort the one that doesn't feel well.

If these two sworn enemies, my cat and my dog, can get along...I think we, as human adults can learn to get along.

A Healthy Level of Sanity

Contributed by my BFF Donna in Mississippi. I can't wait to see you in 37 more days!! How to maintain a healthy level of sanity: 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked ar with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom at work. Don't disguise your voice! 3. End every sentence with, "In accordance with the prophecy." 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso. 5. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for marijuana" 6. Skip down the hall ratherthan walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go". 9. Sing along at the opera. 10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache. 11. When the money comes out of the ATM, screm, "I won! I won!" 12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!" 13. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the state of the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." I think the last one is my personal favorite...though the diet water one is great, too.

Funny for Today

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their carbreak down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

Something To Make You Smile

A woman in her fifties is at home, unclothed, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old." The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55-year old ass?" "Your name never came up," she replied

Aaron Has Finally Lost It!

Last night, our friend Aaron came over to continue working on his project motorcycle. He seemed to be doing ok, until I saw him sitting on the frame and making "vroom vroom" noises. We're a little worried about him.

A Sense of Humor About Blogging

My friend Kathleen sent me this today, among other non-pc demotivational pictures that I will not post here. But this one caught my eye, and had me laughing until I cried. It just struck me as hysterical.

This One Got My Attention

Today's required reading should be entitled, US Feds Extort Dishwasher. I know, he's here illegally. And I agree, he shouldn't be here illegally. But the guy worked hard (earning $5.50/hr) and actually saved $59K, which is more than most Americans do. How long would it take any one of us to save up $59K when we're making minimum wage? I think maybe they should have taken the taxes and applicable fees, given him the rest, and sent him home. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a little hot on the issue of illegal immigration (not just Mexicans, either). But I am TOTALLY FRUSTRATED with government extortion!!!!! It happens every day - to legal citizens! OK, OK, I'm not going to get on my soapbox today. Just wanted to point out that article. Poor guy.

When Hair Color Goes Wrong...

This weekend I had to color my hair, as my age was beginning to show. I had never used Garnier Nutrisse before, but I thought the shade "Light Natural Brown" sounded and looked good. Not so much.

Light Natural Brown turned into Light Natural Disaster! Everyone seems to like it, it's just really dark. When I took the towel off my head, I thought I was looking at someone else! Then I thought to myself, "Hair always looks a lot darker when it's wet, so it should be fine after I dry it." This was a very optimistic thought. It is no lighter when it's dry!

I'm going to let it ride for now, because I'm scheduling a trip back east to visit family this month, and I don't want to over-process my hair. I'm hoping that many motorcycle rides in the Arizona sun will tone this down a little bit before I leave!

The upside is, at least the gray is gone!!!

Can You Imagine?

Today's required reading is short, I promise. Here are my comments:

• "I think and think and think, but I can't understand it" - thinking too much, probably!
• "She said the technician who apparently forgot about her and went home did call to apologize the next day." - I would expect a bit more than an apology...flowers, chocolates and champagne, maybe?

Seriously, this must have been a horrible experience for her. The poor woman went in for a test to tell her if the bone cancer has spread, and she's left in the machine for hours while everyone else goes home! I just can't imagine it.

28 Great Ways To Annoy People

1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others
3. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets
4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
6. Practice making fax and modem noises
7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss
8. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up
9. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears
11. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room
12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting
13. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
14. Staple papers in the middle of the page
15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise
16. Honk and wave to strangers
17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register
18. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE
19. type only in lowercase
20. dont use any punctuation either
21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets
22. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk
24. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat
25. Ask people what gender they are
26. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet
27. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
28. Sing along at the opera.