Words to Live By

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I Love Jeff Foxworthy

Forget Rednecks.....here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say aboutNew Englanders...
  • If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England.
  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in New England.
  • If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live inNew England.
  • If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New England.
  • If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend, you live in New England.
  • If you measure distance in hours, you live in New England.
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in New England.
  • If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day andback again, you live in New England.
  • If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in New England.
  • If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you live in New England.
  • If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in New England.
  • If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in New England.
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80and everybody is passing you, you live in New England.
  • If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in New England
  • If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in New England.
  • If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in New England.
  • If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in NewEngland.
  • If there's a Dunkin Donuts on every corner, you live in NewEngland.
  • If you actually understand these jokes you live or have lived in NewEngland!

6 comments:

Michelle said...

That about sums up the life of a new englander:)

"Joker" said...

You know I can relate!

The best one is about being able to drive in the snow with no problem. I was in Alabama for Army Basic Training years ago, and it was during the winter. They'd get two inches of snow down there and just about everything would grind to a halt. They just didn't know how to drive in it - I was amazed!

He left one out though:

"If someone honks at you in traffic and you put your middle finger up before even looking to see what's going on, you might be from New England."

Kim Thomas said...

Clearly I do not live in New England

Veronnica said...

Thank God I live in Arizona (well for most things!) and have friends from New England! LOL!

Lady Ridesalot said...

I'm glad to see ol' Jeff ain't playing favorites. Thanks for the laugh!

Jen said...

I remember DQ closing during the winter!! It takes hours to get anywhere whenever a flake drops in DC. I've resorted to working from home those days b/c it truly is more dangerous being on the road with people who don't know how to drive in the snow than driving in MA during a Nor'easter.