Words to Live By

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The 100 Mile Ride and So Much More

What do you get when you mix Willy D, Viking Dave, Arizona Harley Dude and his lovely lady Linda, Me, Big D and the whole Arizona BACA crew at a campground on the Colorado River with a floating dock bar??? You get one hell of a great weekend!!!!!

There is really a lot to tell, and I don't want to steal anyone's thunder, so I'll break it down by each day (as I remember them).


We left Phoenix at 3:00 pm on Friday afternoon. It was sunny but windy as hell. The bikes were ready to go, Annabelle even got a new front tire for the trip. Me, Big D and Vicki saddled up and headed out. We took the 60 through Wickenburg, rather than taking I-10. The freeway is just so boring.

Things were going great. Annabelle is a good pack mule. After fueling up in Wickenburg, we headed west toward Aguila. We had to make a brief stop in Aguila. I looked over to check on Vicki and she had her helmet on, but no glasses! WTF?! I made Big D pull over. We pulled into Woody's Hardware Store. Vicki had lost her glasses while we were in Wickenburg. I'm sure they were in the restroom at Circle K. Anyway, I gave her my clears and told her not to lose them, and off we went again.

There were many bugs out, and it was kind of gross, but they weren't a problem. Just had to keep wiping my glasses off. (Ewwww.) About 15 miles outside of Aguila, I heard a very strange, very loud noise under Annabelle. I thought, "I know I'm new at this, but I don't think she's supposed to make that sound." Then I realized I had no power. The throttle was useless. I gave Big D the high sign and pulled over. He asked what was wrong and I told him. I had no clue what had happened. I told him I thought I blew the transmission because when I put the bike in first after stopping, it wouldn't go, like it was stuck in neutral or something. Big D came and looked at Annabelle and said, "I'll be back." (Yes, I was reminded or Arnold at that point.) Me and Vicki watched him go back the way we came and he was gone for about 10 minutes. When he came back he asked if I had figured out what was wrong yet. I hadn't. Then he pulls my chain out. Yes, I lost my chain. The master link had snapped.

Now, under normal circumstances, people who run a bike with a chain carry an extra master link with them on the bike. Unfortunately, these were not normal circumstances. When Big D gave Annabelle to me, I didn't like the tool bag on the handlebars and made him take it off. He put the tools in the little pockets on my saddlebags instead. But apparently he forgot the master link. Now we're in the middle of f'ing nowhere with no master link. And there damn sure ain't a Harley dealer anywhere nearby.

Big D remembers Woody's Hardware Store in Aguila. At first, he wanted me to go buy a master link at the hardware store. Now normally any chance I get to ride Marie, and I'm all over it. But I have no friggin' idea what the hell I'm looking for. And by the way, the name Woody's is a bit misleading: nobody in the store spoke English! So off Big D went, leaving me and Vicki on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Vicki was a great sport, and kept me entertained by singing songs about her belly. :)  I decided to call Willy D and Viking Dave to let them know that we would be late getting into Parker. Willy D asked where we were and what had happened. I told him, and he said, "OK." About 20 minutes later, the two road whores pull up. You could have knocked me over with a feather! I am always happy to see our brothers from Cali, but I was especially happy to see them at that moment! While waiting for Big D, we chatted, took pics, and Dave set up  some bottles for 'target practice' for he and Vicki. (Good job, Vicki!)

When Big D finally got back, he was surprised to see Willy and Dave. Then he told us that they didn't exactly have the right size master link, but he made one out of two. This was Big D's first MacGuyver move of the weekend. He and Willy D put the chain back on Annabelle, and we were back on the road and headed to Parker.

Once we got into Parker and found the campground, we headed to the floating dock bar for some dinner and libations. It's only once or twice a year that we get to see all our BACA brothers and sisters together in the same place, so when we do get together, rest assured we are not going to be quiet about it! After 20 minutes of hugs and hellos and introductions to everyone, we ordered dinner and a drinky for me. :) Big D, Vicki and the boys went to set up the tent after we ate and I stayed at the bar. I wasn't going to be useful setting up the tent, anyway.

The floating dock bar has a stripper pole, and I actually made a few dollars on it Friday night. Fully clothed. Maybe they were paying me to keep my clothes on? Or to just stop? Who knows? Anyway, there was a great jukebox full of rockin' music and we kept it loud. I danced all night with my girls and we had a great time! After putting up the tent, Big D and the boys came back and Big D actually started drinking. This is highly unusual. So the Jack Daniel's was flowing freely. Life was good.

We stumbled back to camp after closing down the bar. It had been a very long day, and we were feeling it. We got ready for bed and laid down on the air mattress where we had the following conversation:

Me: There's not enough air in the mattress.
Big D: Shit.
Me: (In a sing-song voice) I'm rolling into the middle! So are you! Not good!
Big D: Shit.
Me: I'm going to the bathroom while you figure it out.

When I get back from the bathroom I find Big D with the air mattress outside the tent. He has the small air compressor plugged in and he's filling it up. We get the air mattress back in the tent and all set up. Big D lays down and I hear "Whooooooooosh".

Me: There's a hole in it.
Big D: What?
Me: There's a hole.
Big D: Where's the hole?
Me: (laughing) I can't find it. Oh, here it is!
Big D: I need some duct tape.
Me: Seriously??!! Do I look like I have fucking duct tape on me? Let me just pull it out of my ass!
Big D: Shit.

At that point, I was done. I went over to Vicki's mattress and said, "Vicki, move over, make room for Mommy. Daddy's mattress has a hole in it." Vicki said ok, but there was no room for Daddy. (LOL) We then heard Big D rooting around in the bags for quite some time. We were laughing at him. Then we were laughing at farts. :)  We finally fell asleep. In the morning Big D told me what he did to fix the mattress and why he woke up sleeping on an empty mattress:

"I found some bubble gum and a maxi-pad with wings and fixed the hole." (This was his shining moment as MacGuyver!) "It held for about two hours and then I heard a loud POP! but I didn't really wake up." (I'm picturing the mattress blowing a bubble with the gum, are you with me here?)

The mattress deflated and Big D slept on. The problem is, his half of the tent was on the gravel. Ours was on the grass. He was hurting bad when he woke up.

Also, poor Dave was sleeping just outside our tent, and remembers hearing, "Where's the hole?" "I can't find it. Oh, here it is!" Glad we gave him a good laugh, anyway!

That was the start to our kick-ass weekend. I think I'll give you all a break and tomorrow I will continue with all the fun.

Ride safe!


Mister Zip 66 said...

lol, sounds like a fucking bitchen adventure. I wish I coulda been there. Much Love to you, Big D and Maricopa!

Arizona Harley Dude said...

Sorry we missed out on the Friday antics, but it was a great weekend once we got there Saturday.

B.B. said...

I've got the whole bubble in the mattress visual going on. I'm so glad you guys had fun, although I am feeling a bit jealous. :)

mq01 said...

OMG rotfl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn... wishing i was at that floating bar... FUN!!! cant wait to hear more!!

Willy D said...

If you break it down by day as you remember it, each story will end at about 8:00 PM with: “We went to the floating bar…I think”. ;)

Ann said...

WillyD: Actually, I remember Saturday night right up until Supportorican! LMFAO!!!!!!!

IowaHarleyGirl (Stephanie) said...

You are cracking me up...can't wait to hear about Saturday!!

Judy said...

Bbbwwwaaaaahahahahaha...phew! I think I hurt myself. Cant wait to hear "part 2"

Queen B said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha. hilarious! I feel like I'm along for the adventure :)

Mr. Motorcycle said...

Glad he found the hole, even if he couldn't figure out how to keep it shut. You guys are all a bunch of fucking nut jobs! I Love that about you.

Lady Ridesalot said...

It always sounds like I missed out on so much fun when I read about your camping adventures!! LOL! Poor Big D, sleeping on the rocks... ouch! I can picture a big bubbalicous bubble blowing out of the hole, then... pop!! Too funny!

I like reading about everybody's take on the same events... it's very enlightening! Can't wait to read more!

FLHX_Dave said...

Phew, I'm so relieved....I didn't imagine all that shit. It really happened....right?

Man Ann, I'm still over there in my head. Seriously.

Tell everyone Thank you for me. I appreciated the hospitality and all the laughs.

Sue said...

BACA of Arizona? I know some of them :)

Mesa American Legion Rider here

Ride safe ya'll

KT Did said...

So its Big D's fault! The truth comes out. Leave it to the women to be prepared with the maxi pads and bubblegum! LOL. Your adventures are the ones everyone wants to have, fun!