Thursday, March 8, 2007
Not So Random Today
I wasn't going to update the blog today, but I promised my best friend in Massachusetts that I would. You see, she's going through a minor crisis right now, and I can't be there for her because I'm 3,000 miles away, so, I blog. I don't understand it when people tell me that there are only 2 kinds of men in this world: the kind that marry and the kind that don't. Well, I disagree. There are the kind that jack you around for years, telling you they'll marry you, and they never will. There are also the kind that will tell you they are never getting married, but still expect you to stay in a relationship with them forever, and take care of their every need. (sounds like they need a mother, not a girlfriend!) What about the kind that can't make up their minds? Or the ones that have violence/aggression issues? Those are the worst; trust me. But there's also the kind of man that will always be there. The one who takes his marriage vows seriously, but doesn't take himself too seriously. He's funny, kind, loving, caring and not afraid to laugh at himself. You know the kind I'm talking about; he loves life and enjoys every minute of it. Maybe you don't know that kind. He's a hard worker, really invests himself in his family. He's loyal to his friends, he's a true man. This is the man we dream about as little girls. He's 'The One'. 'Mr. Right'. And we look everywhere for him. Some of us find him the first time. Some of us think we find him, but find out later that he's an imposter. Sometimes, we give up looking. And that's usually when we find him. I went through an unusually bad marriage and a traumatic divorce. There was abuse and a criminal case involved. It was not the kind of experience you'd expect after 1-1/2 years of marriage. After I had him physically removed from our home by the police, I took some time for me. I decided that I could do anything I wanted. Well, I was young, and a little bit self-destructive, so I started hanging out in bars with friends. This wouldn't have been bad all by itself, but then I started going every weeknight. And the weekends. I would stay at the bar until closing time 7 nights a week. And I wasn't drinking club soda. I was not looking for a man. I didn't want any more complications in my life, and that's what I thought a man was: just one giant complication. One night, I was at the bar with my friend George. George was one of the very best friends I had at the time. He kept me sane. We usually just sat, drank and talked. But on this night, we were playing pool. A man walked into the bar, walked by me and sat down next to George. I felt an electric jolt when he walked by. I still can't explain it to this day. It was clear that he and George knew each other, and hadn't seen each other in quite a long time. As they talked, I kept looking at the man, and though I didn't want any 'complications', I could not keep my eyes off him. We finished our pool game, and sat at the bar. When George's friend got up to leave, I decided to throw caution to the wind. I said, "Hey, George, who's the cowboy?" (He was wearing nice cowboy boots.) George replied, half jokingly, "Oh, that's Daryl, but you don't want any of that!" Well, I did want some of that. We started dating shortly after that night and got married the day after my divorce was final. This year will be my 10th year as Mrs. Nelson. Or, Mrs. Daryl, as Kramer likes to refer to me. Big D pulled me off of the path of self-destruction that I was on and loved me like there was no tomorrow. I can't tell you where I would be right now if it weren't for that chance meeting in a bar, of all places! I am telling this story for a very specific reason. I told my friend that she needs to just do what she loves doing, and eventually she will find someone. And she's not self-destructive, so she won't be hanging out in bars. I am of the opinon that we cannot go out looking for a man, or looking for Mr. Right. He will find you. I believe in fate. How can I believe anything else? Hang in there, girl. He will find you, I promise! But until he does, please remember that life is short, so ENJOY IT!!! Oh, and remember the electric jolt that I felt when Big D walked by me in the bar that first time? He felt it too. That is the power of fate.