Words to Live By

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Regarding the Wave...

I found this somewhere on the 'internets' today, and thought it was a riot! I hope you all enjoy! TOP 10 REASONS WHY HARLEY RIDERS DON’T WAVE BACK: 10. Afraid it will invalidate warranty. 9. Leather and studs make it too heavy to raise arm. 8. Refuse to wave to anyone whose bike is already paid for. 7. Afraid to let go of handlebars because they might vibrate off. 6. Rushing wind would blow scabs off the new tattoos. 5. Angry because just took out second mortgage to pay luxury tax on new Harley. 4. Just discovered that fine print in owner’s manual and realized that H-D is partially owned by Honda. 3. Can’t tell if other riders are waving or just reaching to cover their ears like everyone else. 2. Remembers the last time a Harley rider waved back, he impaled his hand on helmet spike. 1. They’re too tired from spending hours polishing all that chrome to lift their arms. TOP TEN REASONS WHY GOLDWING RIDERS DON’T WAVE BACK: 10. Wasn’t sure whether other riders was waving or making an obscene gesture. 9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip. 8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm. 7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him. 6. The espresso machine just finished. 5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved. 4. Was in a three-way conference call with stockbroker and accessories dealer. 3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen. 2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature, and satellite navigation system. 1. Couldn’t find the “auto wave back” button on dashboard. TOP 10 REASONS CROTCHROCKETS DON’T WAVE BACK: 10. They have not been riding long enough to know they’re supposed to. 9. They’re going too fast to have enough time to register the movement and respond. 8. You weren’t wearing bright enough gear. 7. If they stick their arm out going that fast, they’ll rip it out of the socket. 6. They’re too occupied with trying to get rid of chicken strips. 5. They look way too cool with both hands on the bars or they don’t want to unbalance themselves while standing on the tank. 4. Their skin tight-kevlar-ballistic-nylon-kangaroo-leather suits prevent any position other than fetal. 3. Raising an arm allows bugs into the armholes of their tank tops. 2. It’s too hard to do one-handed stoppies. 1. They were too busy slipping their flip-flops back on. TOP 10 REASONS WHY BMW RIDERS DON’T WAVE BACK: 10. New Aerostitch suit too stiff to raise arm. 9. Removing a hand from the bars is considered “bad form”. 8. Your bike isn’t weird enough looking to justify acknowledgement. 7. Too sore from an 800-mile day ride on a stock “comfort” seat. 6. Too busy programming the GPS, monitoring radar, listening to Ipod, XM, or talking on the cell phone. 5. He’s an Iron Butt rider and you’re not! 4. Wires from Gerbings are too short. 3. You’re not riding the “right kind” of BMW. 2. You haven’t been properly introduced. 1. Afraid it will be misinterpreted as a friendly gesture. As you can see, this is an equal opportunity rant. I hope this didn't offend anyone, but if it did, I'm sure you'll comment about it. :)

8 comments:

"Joker" said...

List 1: #9 & 1 fit me.

List 2: #10 & 1 LMFAO!!!

List 3: 10 & 1 again. LOL!

List 4: BMW makes motorcycles?

mrs rc said...

Equal opportunity offending...I'm all for it! Hey, if you can't laugh at your self, then don't look in a mirror.

B.B. said...

Thanks for sharing that, it gave me a good laugh! My favorites.....
Harley #8
Goldwing #1
Crotchrocket #1
BMW #2

Willy D said...

Perfect timing Ann. It’s been raining here for the last four days. And yes, I’ve ridden all four. This afternoon, heading back from a trip to Home Depot, there were two bikes on the road. The one I was riding and the one off to my right Dave was riding. Come to think of it, I think that’s the only bikes I’ve seen all week(?). Anyway. We’re heading back and I see a bike coming at us. It was 10 HP Hona-yama-zuki Scooter. OK, why not. I give him my normal low-down wave. Shit, he’s out in the rain. More of a “biker” than some. And damn, he waved back! More of a hand up in the air haven’t seen you in a year wave. But he waved.

Queen B said...

hee hee. we always wave :)

Lady Ridesalot said...

These are funny as hell! And so true with some of them!

Last year, Harley and I were passing through a smaller town while we were out riding. We saw a motorcycle cop coming towards us, traveling the opposite direction. Harley rides by without any movements, but I throw out a wave, and the cop actually waved back. Harley found that surprising when I told him later, cause they usually won't wave while they're in uniform. I thought it was pretty cool.

Ann said...

Joker: You crack me up! :)

Mrs RC: You said it, Sista!

BB: Glad I could make you laugh! :)

Willy D: That's funny...and reminds me of my next post...stay tuned!

QB: We always wave, too. But not to scooters. ;)

LadyR: If you waved to a cop in the Phoenix area, they'd probably pull you over! LOL! I can't believe he waved back!

Willy D said...

The bike cop around here almost always wave back. I’ve been caught off guard a couple of times because they waved first. I guess it depends on the attitude of the cop. If he feels he’s part of the community, or above it.