Because You Are My Friend

This was contributed by my friend K (not to be confused with Kramer!). Thanks K! When you are sad........................ I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum- sucking bastard who made you sad. When you are scared.................. I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get. When you are worried................ I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining. When you are confused............. I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass. When you are sick........................ I will hold your hair while you pray homage to the porcelain God. When you fall....................... I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath.................. I pledge till the end. Why you may ask?.................. Because you are my friend

I'm Back

To my faithful readers, I apologize. I was on vacation last week, although it wasn't a happy one as my brother-in-law passed away unexpectedly, on the 15th. I will try to get back into the swing of things this week. I should have some pics from Vicki's 9th birthday party soon.

In Loving Memory of Mark Nelson

He was a husband, father, son, brother and very dear brother-in-law. We'll miss him terribly. Rest in peace, Markie.

Evil Allergy Meds

Allergy season is upon us in sunny Arizona. And while I'm a fan of our wonderful spring temperatures, I suffer from seasonal allergies. Last night, I was particularly clogged up, and my eyes were itchy and bloodshot. I knew it was going to be a bad night when I could smell the orange blossoms. I decided to take one of Big D's Claritin D-24 hour pills. It was 8:30 p.m. I went to bed at 9:00, and woke up at 12:30. I tried to go back to sleep 3 times. I tried reading, watching TV, listening to some music, and relaxing in Big D's recliner (which usually does the trick). No dice. I went back to bed at 3:30 and the alarm started going off at 4:00. Big D got up to get some coffee. He asked if I was getting up (he knew I had a tough night). I got up, got some coffee, and sat down to watch the news (our morning ritual). Big D asked me why I had trouble sleeping, and I replied, "I was hopped up on your Claritin-D, doesn't that stuff bother you?" He takes this stuff every night. He sleeps just fine. Now that I think about it, he's older than me, so maybe I'm not getting old, just changing. Yeah, that must be it. Because I'm not old, nor am I getting old - EVER! ;o) The story doesn't end there. As I'm driving to work I realize that I have enough energy to run a freakin' marathon! I am wired for sound!!! As I type this now, my fingers are flying on the keyboard (faster than usual). I have the attention span of a gnat (no comments from the peanut gallery - KRAMER!). I won't be taking Claritin-D again at night. That's for sure! I'll have to start taking it in the mornings. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight.

Mom Drives Her Son to a Fight??

You know, when Vicki has problems with other kids, I struggle with what to tell her. When I was 9, my Dad taught me how to fight because I was getting my ass kicked on the bus in the afternoons. Nobody ever messed with me after that. But, now, if I teach Vicki how to fight, I can go to jail. I understand the need to teach our children to fight with words. I try to teach her to use her brain. But what if someone is bullying her and there's nobody around? Is she going to use her 'nice words' to tell the bully to F-Off? Are her 'nice words' going to give the bully a black eye, or at least the thought of stopping? No amount of nice words and patience are going to do any of these things for my daughter. I do teach her to stand up for herself, and that IF someone hits or pokes her, she is to ask them to stop, and IF they continue, she may hit them back. I told her that I would speak to the principal if it came to that. But the mother in this article (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/03/09/national/a134702S05.DTL&type=bondage) is totally "out of control" as quoted by the witness. Can you imagine driving your kid to beat the crap out of another kid?? What the hell was she thinking? I just don't get it. If my kids had a fight in school, they better have a damned good reason for it, not be the instigator, and my boys knew if they hit a girl: it was going to be a very dark time in our home! Don't get me wrong; I believe everyone has a right to parent their children the way they see fit, but did it occur to this mother that she might talk to the other child's mother? Talk to the principal? Talk to a shrink??? Hello???

Blood Pressure is Down!!!

Big D just called from his appointment today, and notified me that his blood pressure is down! Woo-hoo!!!! I won't mention the numbers, but this is wonderful news. He's finally out of stroke country! I checked my blood pressure at Wal-Mart on Saturday, and it was 107/73. And that was pre-beer! Guess I'm going to live long enough to make all of you miserable! Sorry! ;o)

Darwin Awards - Lawn Chair Larry

I must admit, this is my favorite Darwin contender. Read the story here http://darwinawards.com/stupid/stupid1998-11.html The first thing I'd like to know is why does 'a company that makes TV commercials' need a truck driver?? Big D is a truck driver, but never for anyone who makes TV commercials. Wonder what he was hauling? TVs? You've got to give Larry credit for trying this insane act, though. I just think it's funny he was up for 14 hours! I guess Larry succumbed to depression after realizing he would never fly again, so he ended it. Very sad. I respect you, Larry!

Not So Random Today

I wasn't going to update the blog today, but I promised my best friend in Massachusetts that I would. You see, she's going through a minor crisis right now, and I can't be there for her because I'm 3,000 miles away, so, I blog. I don't understand it when people tell me that there are only 2 kinds of men in this world: the kind that marry and the kind that don't. Well, I disagree. There are the kind that jack you around for years, telling you they'll marry you, and they never will. There are also the kind that will tell you they are never getting married, but still expect you to stay in a relationship with them forever, and take care of their every need. (sounds like they need a mother, not a girlfriend!) What about the kind that can't make up their minds? Or the ones that have violence/aggression issues? Those are the worst; trust me. But there's also the kind of man that will always be there. The one who takes his marriage vows seriously, but doesn't take himself too seriously. He's funny, kind, loving, caring and not afraid to laugh at himself. You know the kind I'm talking about; he loves life and enjoys every minute of it. Maybe you don't know that kind. He's a hard worker, really invests himself in his family. He's loyal to his friends, he's a true man. This is the man we dream about as little girls. He's 'The One'. 'Mr. Right'. And we look everywhere for him. Some of us find him the first time. Some of us think we find him, but find out later that he's an imposter. Sometimes, we give up looking. And that's usually when we find him. I went through an unusually bad marriage and a traumatic divorce. There was abuse and a criminal case involved. It was not the kind of experience you'd expect after 1-1/2 years of marriage. After I had him physically removed from our home by the police, I took some time for me. I decided that I could do anything I wanted. Well, I was young, and a little bit self-destructive, so I started hanging out in bars with friends. This wouldn't have been bad all by itself, but then I started going every weeknight. And the weekends. I would stay at the bar until closing time 7 nights a week. And I wasn't drinking club soda. I was not looking for a man. I didn't want any more complications in my life, and that's what I thought a man was: just one giant complication. One night, I was at the bar with my friend George. George was one of the very best friends I had at the time. He kept me sane. We usually just sat, drank and talked. But on this night, we were playing pool. A man walked into the bar, walked by me and sat down next to George. I felt an electric jolt when he walked by. I still can't explain it to this day. It was clear that he and George knew each other, and hadn't seen each other in quite a long time. As they talked, I kept looking at the man, and though I didn't want any 'complications', I could not keep my eyes off him. We finished our pool game, and sat at the bar. When George's friend got up to leave, I decided to throw caution to the wind. I said, "Hey, George, who's the cowboy?" (He was wearing nice cowboy boots.) George replied, half jokingly, "Oh, that's Daryl, but you don't want any of that!" Well, I did want some of that. We started dating shortly after that night and got married the day after my divorce was final. This year will be my 10th year as Mrs. Nelson. Or, Mrs. Daryl, as Kramer likes to refer to me. Big D pulled me off of the path of self-destruction that I was on and loved me like there was no tomorrow. I can't tell you where I would be right now if it weren't for that chance meeting in a bar, of all places! I am telling this story for a very specific reason. I told my friend that she needs to just do what she loves doing, and eventually she will find someone. And she's not self-destructive, so she won't be hanging out in bars. I am of the opinon that we cannot go out looking for a man, or looking for Mr. Right. He will find you. I believe in fate. How can I believe anything else? Hang in there, girl. He will find you, I promise! But until he does, please remember that life is short, so ENJOY IT!!! Oh, and remember the electric jolt that I felt when Big D walked by me in the bar that first time? He felt it too. That is the power of fate.

Roller-Skating with Vicki

So, I agreed to take Vicki roller-skating last night. It was a school event from 6:00 - 8:30. I don't know what came over me. I guess I got nostalgic for the old days when I used to roller-skate every weekend. That was many years ago. We got to the rink and got our skates on without incident. I felt pretty confident and Vicki was doing pretty well, too. We were skating on the carpet to the actual skating floor, and Vicki stopped at the water fountain for a drink. I was going to stop and wait for her, but I lost my balance and fell right on my tailbone. That carpeting is not the best surface to skate on! Luckily, I wasn't going at warp speed, so I quickly picked myself up and we got on the skating floor. The first few times around, Vicki insisted on holding my hand, even though she didn't really need it. We had fun. We were laughing, and she was telling me about one of the boys in her class that kept skating by us and smiling at Vicki. Every time he went by, she would giggle and look at me. It was cute. We stopped for a rest when they played "Shoot the Duck". Do any of you roller-skaters remember that? For those of you that do not: You have to skate around normally and when the DJ says "Shoot" you have to bend at the kneeand roll on one skate while holding the other leg straight out in front of you, all while continuing to roll. I used to do it, back in the day. That was before all my knee injuries. So, we sat it out. When they opened the skating floor again, Vicki just up and skated off without me. She did wave to me as she was skating away, which made me feel better. She skated on her own for the rest of the night, and she did really well. She said she only fell one time, but I didn't see it. I continued skating around the floor, and really enjoyed myself. At about 8:00, I took off my skates and got our shoes. Vicki came off the floor, and I could see she was tired. That's a long day for a third-grader. So we got her skates off, with a little bit of effort, and left the rink. We were both dragging ass! Neither of us are used to roller-skating, and it really usurped what little energy we had left after a long day at work and school. When we got home, Big D and Kramer were laughing at me because I told them my story of falling. I sat down to watch TV before bed, and when I crossed my legs, I got a zinger of pain near my tailbone. Apparently, the fall that I thought was 'no big deal' had pinched my sciatic nerve! I haven't had pain like that since I was pregnant - 9 years ago!!! I took some ibuprofen (my drug of choice), and went to bed. This morning, I'm feeling better, and not nearly as sore as I anticipated. But, I am still using the ibuprofen and probably will be for a few more days. Incredibly enough, I've decided that we should try to go skating every Saturday. I think that I burned all the calories I had taken in over the previous 2 days! I'll be in shape for Rex & Deja's wedding in no time at all!!!

Happy Birthday Mom!

I just wanted to shout it out: today is Mom's birthday! I wish I could be there with you, Mom. I hope you have a wonderful day! Love, Ann.

Fodder for my Blog

So, I was asked not to blog about it, but I think it's ok if I don't name the person who did it. It's a pretty funny story, but it would be even funnier if you knew who I was blogging about. But you don't. This person was sitting down, eating some cashews out of a bowl. This person then lit a cigarette (yes, a smoker - get over it) and enjoyed the cigarette and put it out. Well, apparently, this person, in their old age is getting a little shaky in the memory department and decided to have some of the aforementioned cashews. The only problem is, this person picked up a cigarette butt out of the ashtray thinking it was a cashew! I don't think said person actually got the butt all the way in the mouth (that would have been a better story!). Now I didn't notice any of this happening. I guess I was in my own little world thinking random thoughts again. You would think that this person would just leave it alone. If I were this person, I would think to myself, "OK. Good. She didn't see that. Now she can never, ever blog about it." But, no, this person decides to tell me about it and said that it was not fodder for my blog. Well, it IS fodder for my blog. I didn't give the person's identity away, although I could have. And it would have been much more satisfying to me, if I had. I think this person secretly loves giving me fodder for my blog and just won't admit it. Maybe someday, if I'm patient, this person will allow me to reveal his/her identity. Until then, I guess you'll just have to keep on guessing! Keep on laughing and have a great day!

Running...to the walk??

So this weekend, I was on a team of walkers for the 2007 Heart-Stroke Walk. It was a nice morning for a walk and the outlook was good. I left my house with plenty of time to get there. I knew there would be quite a crowd. On I-17, I felt I had to pee, but it was not a severe case of "I gotta go now", so no big deal. I didn't want to make myself late for the walk, and there wasn't too much traffic, so I wasn't worried about it. Then, 1 mile before my exit to the Loop 202, traffic stopped. I sat there for 20 minutes waiting to go just 1 more mile. Then, I really had to pee. So I get on the Loop 202 without incident (finally!), and I am stuck behind a truck hauling port-a-potties. This is a very cruel world, I think to myself. I passed the truck and then as I get to my exit for Rural Rd., I notice the exit ramp is CLOSED!!! It is closed due to the walk I am trying to get to! So, I continue on the 202 to the McClintock exit, circle around to Rio Salado Pkwy, which is shut down at Mill Ave., (again: for the walk). So I take Mill Avenue which is always a cluster-fuck…even at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday. I finally get a parking spot in a public lot on Ash Ave. just beyond the US Airways garage (which was full). Now, we are at Situation Critical and Code Red! I really have to go! So, I start running. I stopped briefly to consider the port-a-potty on Ash Ave at a construction site and kept running. You never know what those construction site potties will smell like. I was turning the corner from Ash onto Rio Salado when my phone rang. It was Bev, my favorite Brit! "Where are you?" she asks. "I am running down Rio Salado Parkway" I reply. She asks why I'm running, and I tell her, "Because I have to pee!" I finally made it to the walk, found a short line for a bathroom, and then caught up with the group on the walk. Now, please understand, I am in no way, shape or form, a runner! My body was not built for running. Top heavy women should not run - ever! I walked the 3.1 miles after running about a 1/2 mile, and Saturday night I was so sore I could not sit still. My legs ached constantly. The only relief I had was moving them. I was squirming around in pain all night. Big D and Kramer thought this was hysterical! But they would have laughed even harder if I told them that the under-wire from my bra must have been bouncing against my rib cage pretty violently while I was running, because I am bruised there now. And that is really sore! I have learned a few lessons here: 1. Do not take I-17, take I-10 instead 2. Do not drink 3 cups of coffee before driving to Tempe 3. Do not pass up a chance to stop and use the restroom - even if it will make you late! Unfortunately, today I am still sore. Hopefully my ibuprofen will kick in soon.

It's Good, But...

If you've been reading my blog recently, you know I've had some issues with the boss. I actually had a talk with her boss about these issues. I now have reason to believe that her boss discussed these issues with her. My boss will no longer sit in a conference room alone with me. She has cancelled 3 meetings with me, and instead has me and my co-worker join her at her desk or at a table in the lunch room. She is now making a small effort (and extremely half-hearted, too) at complimenting my work. Now, I will say that with the better direction she has been giving, I am able to do a better job. That being said, I turned in a DRAFT of a project I had been working on just to make sure it was what she was looking for. Well, I was called into the lunch room (alone - for the first time in two weeks) and told that this was a project and needed to be available for viewing by all levels of management. She went up one side of me and down the other about formatting, colors, 'making it pop', and so on. After I took my beating and went back to my desk, she called in my co-worker to ask her to sit with me for a few hours and show me how to do it. I have some issues with this: 1. My co-worker is also my friend, and does not want to be put in this position 2. My boss is the one who should 'show me how to do it' 3. The boss is playing us each against the other Here comes the compliment part: After my co-worker and I discussed, and made some changes to the project, I sent it back to the boss. The following is from her email reply to me: This looks MUCH better! Good Job! Only a few things to note: 1. On your analysis sheet, blah blah blah. 2. Your data label “January” should be identified in your blah blah blah. 3. On your data source, blah blah blah. 4. The colors you have chosen are fine, however, blah blah blah. 5. And lastly, blah blah blah blah. I’ve manipulated these few changes to show you a final output. These suggestions should be used to help you formulate charts going forward. Other than these suggestions, GREAT JOB!

So, it's good, but... I know it started with Good Job and ended with GREAT JOB, but after my recent issues with the boss, the middle part really says THIS SUCKS!

I think the lesson here is: NEVER send a draft to the boss. I tried telling her several times that it was a draft, but she wasn't listening. Another lesson I have learned from my recent experiences is: I will never please this boss, no matter what I do. Example: when I finally finished the project and sent it off to her, she called and said it was great, but... So I made the 3 changes that she wanted and double and then triple-checked everything to be sure I left no room for error. I sent it to her and she said it was perfect, but needed another chart added to it! At least I have realized that I will never please her. That will help to ease my frustrations at times, at least. Let me know what your thoughts are, or if you have or have had a bad boss. Please post your comments!

Kitty King

My kitty, Precious, has become the 'Don King' of our kitty community. I'm not quite sure if she's promoting fights, or just taking bets, but the following has happened on two occasions: I am watching TV and hear a cat fight outside the front door. I open the front door and see two cats going at it on my patio. Neither one of the fighting cats is Precious, though. No, Precious is perched on either the railing or the window sill watching the action!!! Kramer laughed so hard, he put himself into a coughing fit, and I almost peed my pants! After the fight was over, Precious Kitty pranced into the house like it was nothing at all. And thanks to her doorman, Kramer, she never has any issues getting in, either! All she has to do is hang on the window screens and Kramer knows that's his cue to open the door! Pretty smart cat, I'd say! So, Precious Kitty is now 'Kitty King'. I've got to get batteries in that digital camera. Next time it happens I will post a picture!