Words to Live By

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid it will never begin.

Friday, August 31, 2007

28 Great Ways To Annoy People

  1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
  2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others
  3. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets
  4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
  6. Practice making fax and modem noises
  7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss
  8. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up
  9. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
  10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears
  11. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room
  12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting
  13. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  14. Staple papers in the middle of the page
  15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise
  16. Honk and wave to strangers
  17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register
  19. type only in lowercase
  20. dont use any punctuation either
  21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets
  22. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
  23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk
  24. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat
  25. Ask people what gender they are
  26. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet
  27. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
  28. Sing along at the opera.


Ruth Anne said...

Did you hear that, nevermind. Great idea.

You can also do what my little sister does. You call her cell phone; she keeps saying Hello like there is no phone reception. When you call back, she is giggling.

Queen B said...