A Blast From The Past...

About 18 or 19 years ago, my BFF Donna and I sat for this picture at the Brockton Fair. Donna, you still look the same, just more like your Momma! I wish I still looked like that!!

This picture has been hanging in my house ever since we had it taken. When we moved into our curent home, I couldn't find it, and was getting quite frantic. Then Big D showed me that he had already hung it!

I miss ya, Donna! I hope all your dreams are coming true!

28 Great Ways To Annoy People

1. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others
3. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets
4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
5. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
6. Practice making fax and modem noises
7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc." them to your boss
8. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up
9. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears
11. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room
12. Holler random numbers while someone is counting
13. Adjust the background color on your email so that all your email correspondence is in green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
14. Staple papers in the middle of the page
15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise
16. Honk and wave to strangers
17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register
18. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE
19. type only in lowercase
20. dont use any punctuation either
21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets
22. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
23. As much as possible, skip rather than walk
24. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat
25. Ask people what gender they are
26. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet
27. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
28. Sing along at the opera.

Mission Accomplished: Vehicle Repaired and Returned

Here's the update on my vehicle saga: The car is fixed and back home. It was the water pump that was leaking. Who knew?? Anyway, it was fixed and covered under the warranty - Yay! My feet are doing better. They now just have tan lines from my sandals, and only hurt in a few spots. I've been soaking them and spraying Solarcane on them, too. That stuff is a lifesaver! Big D picked me up in his work truck today on lunch break to go pick up the car. I was very happy that we didn't have to take the bike because it's 112 again today. Will it ever end? Hopefully I won't have any Grand Avenue Shuffle issues tomorrow. I also have to drive all the way over to Scottsdale tomorrow afternoon - that should be fun. At least I'll have A/C and not the heat blasting at me!

Charred Foot, Anyone?

OK, the vehicular saga continues...

I left work early to get the car to the shop before it actually reached 112 today. No such luck.

The security guys found me a jug to put water in my radiator. I put the water in, but it only took about 1/4 gallon. This signifies 'other issues'. Not good. So, I put the radiator cap back on and rolled.

I got halfway up Grand Avenue and it started overheating. I pulled off, and let it cool down for a bit. I waited about 25 minutes, and started again. I was within 1 mile of the shop when the car got extremely hot and stalled. I called the shop, and they gave me the # for the towing company. The towing company said they would be at least an hour. An hour??? It's 112, I am stuck here in the hot sun, of course there's no shade anywhere...it's Arizona! So I called Big D. He gets on his motorcycle and comes down to bring me a Gatorade (my HERO!).

As we're sitting there talking, a friend of ours rides by on his bike. He stopped to see if we were ok. Then the two guys pop the hood to take a looksie. Apparently, I did not put the radiator cap on tightly, because it was sitting on top of the radiator, upside down. It felt like it was on tight to me!

So Big D goes to someone's door to get some water for the radiator. The nice lady gives us a bucket and the use of her outdoor tap. He fills the radiator and puts the cap on tightly. I drove to the repair shop, and then called to cancel the tow truck.

This is where it gets interesting: I am dressed for work. I have on black capri pants and strappy sandals. They're very cute, but not practical for riding. Especially not in this heat! I've also got my laptop bag and my purse. Big D looked for a sign on his bike that indicated he was a "Geek Taxi Service". I smacked him.

I stuffed my purse in the saddlebag, put the strap of the laptop bag over my shoulders, and jumped on the bike. I thought my feet might get a little warm, but I really didn't think it would be too bad. Off we went.

About 1/4 mile into the ride, I started screaming at Big D (he's deaf and the bike is loud) "My feet are on fire!!!!" He stopped and said, "What do you want to do?" I said, "Just get me home." His reply was, "Hold on." Off we went, again.

I was trying not to cry all the way down Grand Avenue. At every red light, I cried with relief! Once we got onto 75th Avenue, I started sticking my right foot out (this was the worst one) a few inches to keep it away from the pipes and the motor. When we got home, I ran into the backyard and stuck my feet in the pool. Relief! Finally! Then I took the picture. Please note: my foot had no tan lines on it before today...that is all burn!

When Big D saw my feet, he said, "You know, we could have stopped at anytime!" My reply, "I just wanted to get home!" Honestly, what would we have done? Stopped and let my feet cool off in the hot sun?? Not so much.

I know it was stupid to ride with those sandals on. From now on, I have resolved to keep a spare pair of motorcycle boots in the car at all times. Thanks to Big D for that suggestion!

Calling All Morons To Grand Avenue!

Today's A.M. Grand Avenue Shuffle was extraordinarily exciting! First, my car started running very hot, almost overheating, but I caught it in time. So, it was 96° outside, and I had to run my heater! Imagine this: you're in Arizona, it's August, it's 96° at 7:30 a.m., you have your car heater running at full blast, and when you hang your arm out the window to get a breeze, it actually feels cool! In addition to my vehicular issues, it seemed that every moron with a vehicle from the West valley was magically drawn to Grand Avenue this morning! Had I known the Moron-Memo went out, I would have avoided Grand Avenue altogether! So, I'm trying to avoid having my car overheat, and I get stuck behind every fool that's driving 30 mph for no reason, happens to be a "Brakelight Charlie", or other equally foolish things; you get the picture. Then there's the added challenge of the trains! If you're in the right-hand lane at the wrong time, you WILL be delayed by the train. I cannot tell you how lucky I was to remember this point, and stay in the other two lanes! However, limiting myself to only two lanes, I had to tangle with the morons even more than I usually would. I did make it to work without incident. My car did not overheat, but I think I may have. I'm calling the shop as soon as they open this morning. This will not do!

Potential Company-Wide Email From Me

Dear Jackass (or Jackasses): I know one or more of you are stealing my SlimFast from the fridge on the 1st floor. I don't know why you do it, but let me explain my feelings:

• I am TIRED of drinking water for lunch when you steal my SlimFast
• I get VERY CRANKY when I'm hungry
• If you're a fattie (like I was), buy your own f'ing SlimFast!!!
• If you cannot afford your own, WHY do you think I can afford to buy it for TWO???

Now for the facts:

• I have lost 20 lbs
• I wish to continue to lose weight
• Because of your actions, some poor soul who just happens to be drinking a SlimFast will be attacked on sight by a very hungry ME!

This is your warning to cease and desist immediately! I am contacting Field Services to install a web cam trained on that fridge. I will find you if you continue.

Nominee for Best Joke of the Year

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you, Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese." The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from the Middle East, I am not American!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"She says, "No, I am from Africa!"Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work."

Birthday Shout-Out To Samantha!!

Happy birthday, Samantha!

We wish you could be here to celebrate your birthday, but you're in the Navy and in Virginia. Thank you for serving our country. We're glad we saw you in June!

You have always made our lives interesting, to say the least! We love you very much, and still can't believe what a responsible young woman you have become. You're 19 now, you're married to a really nice guy, and you're a smart & beautiful girl. We could not be more proud of you!

Here's to you, Sammy! Hope you have a fabulous birthday!

I Have Big News...

But I have been asked not to blog about it yet! How frustrating is that?! Tell me something really, really great, and then tell me I can't blog about it? I really cannot wait to share the news with everyone! But I have to wait for the ok, first. She'll be REALLY mad at me, and I just can't have that at all! I'm so damned happy, though! I'd better end this post or I will slip and tell you my BIG, BIG news!!!

A Writer In The Family

I'd like to direct my fellow bloggers to read this post. This is from my husband's blog. It's one of his original short stories, and I must say, one of his best yet. If you decide to read the post (it's a little long) please leave him a comment. Thanks!

To The Person Who Stole My SlimFast:

Why???!!! I don't understand it. Someone took my SlimFast Optima out of the refrigerator at work yesterday! I just don't get it! Is there someone here that actually thought to themselves, "Hmmm...OH! A SlimFast Optima! I gotta have it! I'm starving!" ?? Now I didn't see anyone drinking it, but would you stay in sight if you just stole someone's SlimFast? Um, no. You would run and hide like the sneaky shit that you are! I know this was not a mistake, either. My Slimmy was the ONLY one in the fridge! It was not a mix-up. So why? I have another one in the fridge today...we'll see what happens. I should have put it in a lunch bag, but was in a rush this morning.

Reality TV Poll Results

The poll results were as follows: Big Brother - 1 vote Survivor - 2 votes Wife Swap - 1 vote Other - 2 votes I Hate Them All - 5 votes In the 'Other' category, I got two votes, but only one comment - The Amazing Race, which the Champ and Mrs. Smith could be on sometime in the future. That would ROCK! My vote was I Hate Them All. I just can't get into those "Reality" shows. I'll put up another poll soon. Any suggestions??

A Very Serious Issue

I usually don't have required reading, but today I must. Please click here. Do not read the rest of this post until you read the article, please. Have you read it? Do you do it? Are you going to continue? I heard someone call into the radio station this morning, and she said, "Yeah, but she was just a teenager." So, according to this bozo, adults (which, by the way, the 'teenager' was 18-which is a legal adult) are better at driving while not watching the road. Not so much. Anything can happen on the road. My daughter could have been crossing the street. My husband could have been riding his motorcycle in the opposite lane. The person she hit could have been me or someone close to me. People seem to have a very cavalier attitude towards driving, and it really ticks me off! Now I'm not saying that I'm a perfect driver...believe me, I'm not! And if you don't believe me, Big D will be happy to tell you all about it, because he's "a professional driver and does it all day long for a living". (I hear it a lot.) But because I am aware, and can ADMIT that I'm not perfect, I do not, nor have I ever, texted while driving. I know some of you bloggers have admitted to doing this. Please know this: I don't have a lot of peeps who read my blog as it is! I cannot afford to lose any readers! So if you're reading this post, then my plea to you is: Please do not text while driving anymore. I'm sure it can wait until you get home, or until you stop somewhere. And just to clear things up, I am not opposed to talking on the celly while driving. I do this frequently. But texting and driving don't mix. Friends don't let friends drive while texting.

What A Show!

Wow! That was one of the best concerts I have ever been to! Puddle of Mudd was great (I did know who they were!). Daughtrey was good. Nickelback ROCKED! They had so much energy and put on such a great show! I was really impressed. I only have two complaints:

1. The sound could have been better - there was an echo during the first two bands.
2. $9.25 for a beer! Hello? It's beer! At least I didn't pay $10 for a *sip* of vodka. Yes a sip. They called it a shot, but not so much!

All in all the concert was awesome, and I didn't feel like the oldest person there, which was definitely a bonus. And, due to the HUGE storm last night, we had a very cool light show on the way home. It's a good thing I'm typing and not talking right now, because I don't think anyone could understand me. My voice is pretty much gone today. Halls, anyone?? Next concert: Van Halen with David Lee Roth (yes, I'm old) November 23rd in Glendale, AZ!!

Nickelback Concert Tonight

Tonight is the big show at Jobing.com arena in Glendale! Woo-hoo! I can't wait! I wasn't expecting to go to this concert, but our friend Aaron bought his wife Vicky tickets for her birthday, and he didn't want to go (hates the band). I said jokingly, "I'd love to go in your place, then we'd both be happy." Well, Aaron talked to Vicky, and now we're both happy!! I will give a review tomorrow. Daughtrey and Puddle of Mudd are playing, too. I don't think I know who Puddle of Mudd is, but we'll see. I haven't been to a concert in quite a few years, so this will be interesting. Have a good night, everyone!

Pluot, Anyone?

Has anyone ever had a Pluot? I hadn't until this weekend. I wasn't sure of exactly what it was until I looked it up on Wikipedia.

I suspected it was some kind of a plum hybrid, but couldn't tell what it was crossed with. Apparently it's apricot. All I know is that these little buggers are very tasty!

Keeping The Little Ones Happy

A few days ago, Ruth Anne posted a pic of her son with a blurb about turning a frown upside down...Ethan loves the phone. Well, Vicki loves the phone too, and always has. This is a pic of Vicki at age 2, eating peanut butter toast (her then favorite lunch) and talking on the phone to her Grammy.

Incidentally, that was our first summer in Arizona, and our phone bill was out of control!

But, I do love this pic!

My Favorite Arizona Chinese Restaurant

Yes, I have to specify that it's my favorite *Arizona* Chinese Restaurant. I have to do this because most of the food in Arizona sucks, as compared to anywhere else in these United States. We went to this establishment last night, after not going there for quite some time. Here is the run-down:

• It was so quiet in there you could have heard a pin drop! (It used to be packed and noisy all the time)
• There were 3 other tables taken, and the rest of the place was empty
• The waiter (I think?) was chasing people to their tables asking them what they wanted to drink before they were seated! (They actually asked Big D while he was at the buffet!)
• The food quality REALLY left something to be desired
• There was NO SUSHI!!!! WTF???
• It looked pretty run-down

Now I'm not sure if there's new management in place, or if there needs to be, but I was sorely disappointed with our visit. The whole experience was terrible!

So, does anyone know a *Good* Chinese restaurant in the Phoenix valley area? I prefer the west side, but hey, I've traveled to Boston for good sea food, so I can drive to the east side if I must!

Birthday Shout-Out To My Boy Eric!!!

Happy Birthday Eric! We wish you could be here to celebrate, but you and Toshia are in Korea serving our country in the Air Force; for that I thank you.

You're 22 now, and so mature. You've stopped walking into things and getting random injuries (thank God!). Your wife Toshia is a beautiful woman, who loves you very much.

We love you and we're proud as hell to be your parents! We hope you have a wonderful birthday! This day is all about you, Eric, so enjoy it to the fullest!

Favorite TV Ad Poll Results

Not surprisingly, the AFLAC Duck took the poll! The results were as follows: What's Your Favorite TV Ad? GEICO Gecko - 0 GEICO Cavemen - 1 AFLAC Duck - 5 I TIVO Everything - 2 The most surprising result was that only two people answered that they TIVO everything & don't watch ads. I thought it would be more! My vote was for the duck!

My Two Year Anniversary

Today is my two-year anniversary with PSC. Imagine that! It has not been the easiest two years of my life, but I guess that might have been boring. Never fear: my life is NEVER boring! Over the last two years, I have had the pleasure of working with some really great peeps, some of them even read this blog! I have also had the misfortune to work with some not-so-great peeps, and I will not go into details, but that was definitely a learning experience! This is also the first time that I have been with a company two years and have not been actively looking for a job! Good people, great boss, good times (mostly). How could I ask for more?

Running Out Of T.P.?

Why is it that every time I sit down on the throne (or in the library as Big D likes to call it) there is never any T.P.??? Mind you, this rarely happens when I'm out; just in my own house! I won't go into too many details (you're very welcome) but it doesn't seem to matter which bathroom I'm in, there is never any T.P.! Am I the only one using the T.P. for it's intended purpose? I should think not! Is it so hard to go to the linen closet and replace the roll that you just finished off?? I'm just venting today. This irritates me! Thank God I keep boxes of tissues in the bathrooms, as well! LOL!

Diet Woes...

Yesterday Vicki had an appt for her yearly physical exam. We saw a new doc this time, and we both really liked her. The only problem: Vicki needed *shots*. She needed the chicken pox booster (I didn't even know they had a booster for this!) and a TB test. They did the booster first, which should have been last. She needed to stay very still for the TB test, and it would have been easier to do had that been the first one. So she was very upset when we were leaving the office. So what do I say to calm her down and get her to stop crying? "Hey Vicki, how about we go to Sonic?" What the hell was I thinking? So off to Sonic we go. It's absolutely amazing how a Cookie Dough Blast from Sonic can stop a crying child in her tracks! Additionally, it never ceases to amaze me how very little will power I actually have! I also had a Cookie Dough Blast, however I do not consider it a defeat; it's just a small bump in the long, long diet road. There was another such bump in the road last night, when Big D says, "Let's eat out." Which means either McDonalds or something quick. A word of warning: do not order the Grande Quesadilla at Taco Bell! It's bread - not a tortilla. Yuck! But the Nachos Bell Grande were yummy! Today, I'm back on track. I'll be eating my granola bar for breakfast, and a Slimmy for lunch. I hope I didn't do too much damage! Happy Friday everyone!

What A Great Day!

This morning, I was talking to a coworker, and the following is part of our conversation: Coworker: Have you lost weight? (totally out of the blue, and off-subject) Me: Yeah, about 15 lbs. (HUGE smile on my face!) Coworker: I noticed the other day that you looked skinny but I can really see it today (I'm thinking - Me, skinny??? How kind!) Me: Thanks for noticing! And saying something! How great is it that the SlimFast Optima diet from hell is finally starting to pay off?! I drink it for lunch every day, and have been for about a month. It's not that bad, now that I'm adjusted to drinking 12 oz of chocolate flavored crap every day! LOL! So, yes, it's a great day. Someone noticed my small weight loss! YAY! I hope everyone has a great day today, too!

My Profile Pic...

OK... I finally added a pic to my profile. It's definitely not me at my best! It was taken on Saturday at my friend's 4-year-old daughter's b-day party at Peter Piper. I had no makeup on, it was hot as hell and extremely humid, and, oh yeah, it rained! Please keep in mind this was after we had gone through a few pitchers of beer, too. I'm hoping to capture a good pic of me and Big D in our leathers, but that's not going to happen until it cools off. I kept thinking, "Oh, yeah...we can just get our leathers on for the picture, and then change right away." Not so much. When it's 105 and humid, you do not want to wear leather! LOL! So maybe this weekend I'll put on some makeup and have Big D take a really nice picture of me for the profile. (No, V...not that kind of pic!) Anyway, just please excuse the lack of beauty for now!

Try This Link Instead

In reference to yesterday's post, some people couldn't see the video. I'm hoping this link will work. The video is hilarious! http://www.glumbert.com/media/physical